this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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