the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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