I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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