I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
