Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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