You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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