when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
