fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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