There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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