I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize