I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
