This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
