We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize