The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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