Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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