4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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