:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
