I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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