it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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