Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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