Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
