Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
