Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
