He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize