Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
