just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
