what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
