I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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