Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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