And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
