dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
