Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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