Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
