It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
