i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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