cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.