There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.