you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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