is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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