i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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