I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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