brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
