I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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