If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
