would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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