Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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