My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
