Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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