does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
