I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize