Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
