I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
