ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
