3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
