we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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