I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
