oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
