One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
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you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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