Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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