i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
