please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
