I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
