There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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