careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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